● NOW ACCEPTING ENTERPRISE CAVES

Stop doing work a goblin could do.

On-demand goblins for operations, logistics, and low-stakes mayhem. Scale your horde without the overhead of a full-time dungeon.

Build your horde ↗See how it works ↓

4,812 goblins deployed
with only 37 major incidents

HORDE CONTROL™ ● LIVE
◉◉⌣
GOBLIN OF THE MONTH

Crumb

Senior Lever Specialist

★★★★★ 4.9

Tasks gnawed1,204↑ 18% this moon

Shinies found8612 returned

● Crumb pulled Lever 7Just now - outcome pending
VETTED GOBLINS ✦ RAPID DEPLOYMENT ✦ NO LONG-TERM COVENANTS ✦ MOSTLY HOUSEBROKEN ✦ VETTED GOBLINS ✦ RAPID DEPLOYMENT
WHAT WE DO

Menial tasks.
Maximum menace.

Specialized goblin teams plug into your operation in days, not geological eras. Every engagement includes a handler, a tiny helmet, and incident reporting.

01 24/7 COVERAGE
✦

Dungeon Operations

Loot sorting, torch rotation, bridge lurking, and other repetitive tasks your senior monsters have outgrown.

Explore service ↗
02 SOC 2-ISH
✦

Chaos Engineering

Stress-test your systems with controlled button pressing, cable gnawing, and one deeply unhelpful lever pull.

Explore service ↗
03 98.6% RECOVERED
✦

Treasure Logistics

From shiny acquisition to suspicious pile management, every trinket is tracked, stacked, and occasionally licked.

Explore service ↗
THE PROCESS

From zero to horde in 72 hours.

No summoning circles. No ancient contracts. Just tell us what needs doing and how flammable it is.

  1. 01

    Tell us the problem

    Describe the work, the cave, and your tolerance for shrieking.

  2. 02

    We assemble the horde

    Our matching engine selects goblins by temperament and bite radius.

  3. 03

    Chaos becomes throughput

    Track tasks, trinkets, and minor incidents from one calm dashboard.

“
Before Goblins as a Service, our treasure room was a disaster. Now it is an organized disaster, and I get my weekends back.

Morgana Vex
VP of Hoards, Dreadspire Holdings

PRICING

Horde more. Pay less.

SCAMP

$49/moon

For solo operators with a suspicious drawer.

  • ✓ 1 part-time goblin
  • ✓ 20 tasks per moon
  • ✓ Basic shiny detection
  • ✓ Email support
Choose plan
HORDE

$299/moon

For teams ready to operationalize mischief.

  • ✓ 8 dedicated goblins
  • ✓ Unlimited minor tasks
  • ✓ Advanced trinket analytics
  • ✓ Dedicated goblin wrangler
  • ✓ One complimentary curse
Deploy the horde ↗
DARK LORD

Custom

For organizations with multiple lairs.

  • ✓ Unlimited goblins
  • ✓ Multi-dungeon support
  • ✓ Custom uniforms
  • ✓ 24/7 emergency exorcism
Choose plan
FREQUENTLY QUESTIONED

Things people yell at us.

Are the goblins insured? +

Yes. Every goblin carries general liability and a tiny laminated card they are very proud of.

What if a goblin eats my project? +

Our recovery team reconstructs it from crumbs, eyewitness accounts, and version control.

Can I keep my goblin? +

Long-term assignments are available. Emotional attachment is common and covered in onboarding.

READY WHEN YOU ARE

Your backlog isn't going to gnaw itself.

Join 600+ teams already delegating the weird stuff.

Summon your first goblin ↗No credit card. No blood oath. Cancel anytime.